ArabianOud {R}

I was soaked in miseries and no peace, All I needed was some love and solace, Crushed in isolation and drenched in pain, I am losing out the meaning of life in plain, Mutilated in patriotism and national identity, I am considered as an outcast not one of you, Unleashed the ignorant traditions of that place, And I set myself free from that endless pain, I hate those things called promises and love, Because all this society gives you is hate, Hypocrisy of systems and cultures exist, I am called ‘too liberal’ for my beliefs, I do not have to comply with your rules, I am not an outraged, characterless woman, I know my limits and where to press STOP, Your fooled by the cover of the book, But you never bothered knowing inside, Your are such a beauty hunter, did you know? You yearn for lust and then call it love, I am losing out the meaning of being myself, Because your selfishness doesn’t allow me, To know myself better in a way no one does. by me

Because of you today I am so dead alone, Because of you today, I have none I call my own, You left me back in darkness and in such cold, I couldn’t even feel my heart beat anymore, Because of you today I can not trust anyone, These days go by and I change everyday, Summer is gone and now it’s winter time, Never felt so blank within myself as today, Because of you today, no one needs me, Those feelings of unwanted ness poured, And tears can’t seem to stop themselves, Because of you today, I have lost all my looks, My beauty has faded away and left behind wrinkles, Because of you today, I am invisible to all, You enjoy life and pretend to be so noble, You always used to say I was your girl, And you were not like ‘others’ at all,I thought you were my best pal, But it was so easy for you break away, And pretend like a total stranger to me, You paid no heed to those rumours you heard, And believed I spoke ill behind your back, Because of you today, I am so empty within, You made people bel

From my old closet of thoughts: this probably fits in my life now! have a read... and let me know what you think!!!! I wanted you as a part of my soul, my heart but I was foolish because no one was worthy of my love. All my efforts, emotions and time were a total waste. Why did I believe, you were mine and why did I believe I belonged to you? You gave me these dreams, you instilled love in my soul, that mystery than disappeared away. Now everything seems so distant and vague; seems like another dream, another illusion, that took me on a joy ride than converting into tragedy and finally into an unforgettable rollercoaster ride. My eyes open and it’s all gone, like a fairground where everything dims out after midnight. Could you hear my heart beat? Could you hear these silences speak out and fill the loneliness around me? Could you stop blaming myself for being what I am? The magic of those eyes seems ever-lasting. He captivated my heart and that this wasn’t a crush. There was a bond cr

I must admit, I have felt so lost within myself, I can not see a world beyond this darkness, I wake up everyday hoping for brightness, But soon these hopes dash in a deeper place, Could you win my trust back and let me know, How it feels to be loved and admired again? I must admit, this long night is never ending, This stormy night instills fear in my soul, This place called 'home' is full of silence & me, I wish I was able to forget those emotions like a nightmare, That haunted me for several months as they left, I wish I could wipe away those memories one day, I must admit, this longing & yearning does instill pain, But I knew this was the only way out of my emptiness, The ink's dried and my emotions stagnant, I need to escape from my own cage called 'body', To rise again like a phoenix.

If angels exist then I need one to be mine, To hold on to my heart and never let go, I know he would come one day sooner, But it seems like a long wait for now, At times I feel so lost & speechless, I wish he was by my side right now, I know he wouldn't leave me ever, They say they are sincere & caring, A deeply wounded heart is so alone, But it is not pity that I seek beloved, It is someone who would understand, I would give my heart & soul away, But I wished he would come sooner, Poem: by me

Burnt down your memories first, saw you burn mine later, for you wronged me, I didn't wrong you, but I was punished by thee. You have burnt my heart to the depths of darkness and thrown me in the unknown. How could you vow to love me for eternity when all you had to do in the end was behave like others, so typical, so full of lies, full of deceit. After a good timepass all you wanted was to exit. Strange how now its become a trend to dump people and they find out through others. Strange how feelings, emotions and relationships have become a joke. Our biggest fault is that we give someone that importance in our life to make them special to that point that they actually think they are all that and they misuse this emotion, they possibly do everything to hurt us. We hurt that person to an extent that is very painful, we hurt them and then seek forgiveness and think it's going to be okay, because we know deep down they love us, and love gives one the power to tolerate. There would

I have been thinking a lot this month, my main focus has been on relationships, after some personal setbacks, all I have been doing is ponder on relationships. In the age of a fast lane lifecycle, where materialism has overtaken our existence, very few people understand the worth of relationships and they know how to value it. A relationship only becomes stronger after it goes through tests, trials and a series of tribulations. If it can not handle the burden of truth its better for it to break off. When people claim to love they should have the nerves to face the consequences, if they can’t fulfil those promises then they shouldn’t claim love. People have lost the true definition of love and relationships, most likely they have misplaced it. Love is threaded by respect, care, trust and endless understanding.

Left shot: Baker Street Station, London Right shot: Harrods decorated like a bride. Knightsbridge London

It is the 28th of September 2007, I am sitting in my living room, pondering over the recent events in my life, in the world, the political situations, the turmoils, the holy month of Ramadan and so on. But before I could begin to write, I am thankful to my friend who wrote a scribbled blog to keep you entertained. I am sure most of you are very occupied with the Holy month of Ramadan and the busy routine. But did we change during this pious month? what changes were made to our character? to our inner self? did we remain hard as a tyrrant and not refrain from carrying out evil doings? Did we keep cheating others and keep making the other believe we are superior over the other? Did we stop making the other feel they were too low or not good enough to be introduced as the person we love to our social circle? Were we too double faced to stand and face the truth and take responsibilty? Did we stop thinking about the Hereafter and only think about this world? Did we not stop and think how I

I dedicate this movie to a very special friend, an 8yr old Saudi girl called 'Dania', who I met at Deira City Centre Cinema this time in Dubai (Aug 2007), while watching 'Ratatouille'. She was a very sweet, smart and mashalla very very bright little angel. We started off chatting as I took my friend's 11 yr old nephew for a movie and less did I know that I will end up with making a new friend, as little as 8 yr old.. We became friends and I miss her a lot, she lives in Riyadh... mashalla kids nowadays soo fast, soo witty.. she was narrating the whole movie to me , and she was the loudest.. she watched the movie like 4 times heheeeeeeeeeee.. wallah I miss her a lot! where r u Dania? I miss u! I lost touch with her, I hope I find her soon.. whenever I see the posters of this movie, it will remind me I made a sweet friend... I just feel that kids can be best friends, because they are very honest, yet naughty and they do not fear speaking their mind, and considering tod

We all make mistakes somewhere, as a friend, as a daughter, as a son and as a lover. When a person admits their mistakes and apologise for them, it makes things better..Does apologising make a person smaller?

The desire to obtain something becomes more catchy when the person you desire is behaving mysteriously and allures you, finally when you get them, mystery unwinds and all secrets unfold... love is like a mystery, millions, billions, trillions, zillions of things written on this one emotion which is universal, pivotal to human existence ' love'. shot: by me Mask decorated: by me and big H

I believed in love deeply but now I don't, I believed in the bright world of romance, That first gaze that took my heart away, I believed in promises, sacrifices and all, Giving myself, and all that hard work, But now I don't, Now I am an unbeliever in this world of love, Because it has no literal mean at all, Feeble love, I hate you so immensely, You crushed my hopes and cut my wings, Woke me up to reality and showed me the road, Which led no where but into the dark, I sinked back to where I began before this, A world which is mine and no welcome signs, Coz love you dismantled my existence so much, Now I hate you so deeply and want to forget, You were injected in my soul but now I forget, That I had anything to do with feeble love.

You thought I wouldn’t make it on my own, I thought you were my best friend, My well-wisher, my biggest supporter, But,Fate pulls threads of circumstances apart, Everything around me is very blur, My vision is very unsure of what I see, I am insecure by my circumstances, Afraid of the past repeating itself, A sense of failure is injected in me, You were my best friend, remember? But I guess friendship was only a word to you, Why did you turn so cold towards me? When I wasn't at fault at all! When I offered my support to you, But thee turned me away saying it don't matter, When I was ignored by people I thought as friends, Now my existence don’t mean a thing to you! This world seems so unknown now, My dreams, desires and ambitions incomplete, Unwanted in their life, I get that feeling, You said you would always stay with me, But that was proven as a lie, They laughed at my dreams, calling me silly, Silence has overtaken my soul, I am walking away into the dark now, Because I can

Dear all, I am working on an article about people who get sexually abused and never have the guts to ever open up to anyone about their horrific experience, it can be a guy or a girl who are abused, no restrictions to gender or stereotyping a man is always the abuser and woman is the victim, because it exists in both genders.. Sexual abuse leaves a deep impact on the mind on the victim and can even affect their relationships in the future, i.e. friendship, love and general dealing with people.. the inhibitions one carries with being too close to someone, i.e. being in love after they were abused previously.. that it was a mistake, an accident, but the guilt the victim carries is endless, they feel responsible for what happens and because of this fear never manage to open and share their pain... because they fear being judged... I have come across some people who look down upon people who were abused and think it was totally their fault and look at them like a tainted piece! They seek h

I am crying alone, In this cold rainy weather, I had your hand next to mine, But now that vision's faded, I adore you to death, But my soul's so alone, I misplaced you sweety, Can you locate me anymore? I am crying alone, Because I am so misunderstood, So much in pain, I was never so vain, To call you mine, Your soul, your body, your heart, Your existence was all mine, Even before you came into this world, I am crying alone, Because I want to turn back the clock, And remove this pain, Gifted by people I considered my own. Touch my heart and feel my pain, To know how I crave being understood. By me Sept 1st 2007 London

You may have someone who loves you sincerely but you never value them and take them for granted. You may be someone taken for granted, you may be cheating someone you love, you be unaware someone loves you. You maybe looking for love.. whatever the case, when you fall in love, seize it and treasure it with purity and sincerity, for true love is hard to get, luck plays a vital role here, love comes knocking on your heart and is here to stay, if your love is pure. For the ones cheating, get a life and have a shame on your evil deeds, slap on your face for being so shallow.Relationships are a wonderful part of a human being, which make us alive knowing there is someone special who loves us, thinks of us more than we do, knowing that one particular person is the chosen one, in the entire universe, this is who we were waiting for.. love, what a wonderful emotion if sincerely fulfilled. shot: by me LondonTrafalgar Sq July 2007

End of the day when you lose a battle in any form, any path of your life, professionally or personally it is your humbleness and your down to earth behavior that matters.. Power, fame and materialism are only momentarily things, which do not determine the true person, these are like a cloak we wear but what emerges out is the real us with situations, experiences, circumstances, Every leader has to leave at the end of his leadership, thus people remember him in his generous acts and how good he has behaved with his people. How just has he been and so on.. Before I started working in the media, I was fascinated by celebrities, famous people and all those people we rate as 'stars', but as I entered this field, I had a closer look and realised how they were normal people like us, who were popular with the hype we gave them, with the importance we gave to their work.. How it was artificial and only a few of them were geniune people.. how that coming closer to them made me see thei

I am in the dark, deep somewhere so lost, so misplaced, so untraceable and so out of your hands.. I am so confused and saddened because this long night doesn't come to an end and the morning isn't coming easily.. Treasure those moments of joy that thee share with a beloved, with your close ones.. for they are precious. Time flys by like sand slipping out of your hands and there remain memories... I am in the dark holding your portrait close to my heart, knowing that your mine, making myself believe that you love me too.. In the dark so disconnected from everything else but these moments of silence... and peace... shot: by me

Shots: by me Locale: Essex,UK

There were moments when I cried alone,There were moments when I admired alone,And wished someone was by my side,Watching the countryside crossing by,And capturing that beauty in my eyes,Then these places remind me of my emptiness,And how many wounds emerge every time,How those wounds by your cruelty emerge,How you kept ignoring me to this point,And I kept remaining patient with you,But you kept ignoring me for long,Coz you knew I loved you so deep,And I would stand by you forever,Your silence gifts me wounds so deep,You have brought this so far,But now I am fading away,Scratching my heart deeper,His words sharp as a knife,I called them my friends, that’s a lie,They all scratched my feelings,Calling me ‘Miss Sensitive’And laughing on my face,He never bothered to know me,And caused these distances,All I ever got were endless wounds,In this thing we called ‘ love’.

The wall I built to guard my heart,Is long broken to tiny pieces,The roads ahead seem all jammed,And the path is vague to my eyes,My heart’s turned so weak now,I can feel it beating so rapidly,That discomfort emotions cause,The losses we face, the pain we inherit,So much on my mind, and less time,I am collapsing but there is no escape,My eyes see a blur world in front of me,But I can not hold on to that rope,That hope is lost & I am deserted,I have nothing in hand but ashes,I am alone today without him,I am heartbroken in this path,For love you were never lucky for me,And left me to weep in the end by me

Soul in pain, tears dried out, I am falling, I am sinking in dark, I am smiling but I am so artificial now, I can't even feel my heart beat as before, You said that you loved me forever, But that love is so incomplete now, Giving me wings of hope to fly, But then You took me on a rollercoaster ride, Taking me to an extreme height, And then throwing me to the deep end, Vanishing away, with sealed lips, Breaking my heart and calling me a liar, I am scribbling emotions in this secret diary, Which is a tunnel to my purest feelings, This love, that you & I shared, Is so alone now, so much in pain, Tainted love, you have so ruined me, I thought this sweet pain would end soon, And you would kiss my pain away, Standing in the middle of the road, It's cold out here & home is far away, Heart ache, soul pain, bleeding heart, I am cloaked in blood, that is my own, You failed to see what you meant to me, Because you stood on the

My heart’s empty like a vacant room, A storm’s just passed by, I have gone through an era of pangs, O’ how I wish no one ever suffers my miseries And no one suffers what a jilted lover does Each day that came by, Brought new hopes and dreams, Each time we met, you gifted me a rose, I have preserved every rose of yours, Dried & dusted they lay in my book, Scented & sprinkled with that magic called ‘love’, That day when you left me for a voyage, You made some promises for a lifetime, Gave me a heart shaped pendant, So I’d keep your closer in memories, That day, I recall crying endlessly, Making myself believe you’d come back one day, I waited in despair for your letters, But none ever seemed to come, Years passed by and I waited by the window, Watching day covered by night everyday, Your phone call alarmed me, When you said you lied about our love, How could an innocent soul feel? Cheated & agonised in despair, Corazon Espinado, my heart is crying, A thorn stung in my heart,

You can't trust them all, you can't disclose all those nitty gritty secrets, but you can certainly have fun with them, chill out and go for a stroll or for those theme park outings! But saying that, there are very few cousins who you can actually count on. Me with my cousin Tams as I call him! Hyde Park London

He's simply camera shy but an adorable cousin to have. Shot: by me Shot: Tams my cousin

I came across this outfit, it's simply amazing, I was walking past and as soon as I saw that I stopped and I was like 'OH MY GOD', it's gorgeous.. simplicity engraved with some heavy work.. I simply love black and can not resist it, I try to wear a lot of black as much as I can.. gothic, tomboyish, chic, elegant, classy, rough tough, whatever the occasion and situation maybe, black has to be there.. or a touch of black is a must! Shot: by me Location: Regents Street, London

I am a silent observer, I choose to watch and silently write down what I see. I am analysing and it's not that bad, it's becoming exciting, all those faces around and that music is charming me once again.. Shot: by me Hyde Park London

Today I digged out some of my journalism material from university, the module book of News writing and reporting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that brought back memories and also refreshed journalism basics.. Shot: by me

Victory is only a mile away, look carefully, it is with the right ingredients that trigger you to go that extra mile to head towards your desired destination. For many of us, these include our little dreams or ambitions. Victory attained alone is disappointing, you need someone to share it with. A journey carried on with that someone who stood by you and actually went through that struggle, never abandoning you, and making sure you reach to your desired destination. Like that statue in this image, which is mighty and watches others is a strong symbol of victory. Shot: by me Trafalgar Square London

Feeding birds is my favorite hobby, especially at Hyde Park.. it gives me a lot of peace of mind and brings me closer to nature, to animals who watch us, communicate with us.. I actually ask them questions and look into their eyes, at their expressions and question them. Watch them amongst themselves, and this makes me happy.. I decided to go boho again by feeding them crisps instead of bread! good huh? Hyde ParkLondon Shot: Tams

It was their day, Iraqis had all the reasons to smile and honk their car horns and hoot middle of the road and dance, playing the darbuka drum! Iraq's football team Al Nasr won the football match today against Saudi Arabia. There was endless traffic all along from Hyde Park to Edgware Road. Edgware Road is the famous Arab street in London. The roads were blocked and people were dancing around, the police was trying to get the traffic sorted. I watched Iraqis proud and showing off their flag and dancing, singing songs of praise.. Indeed a moment to be proud of.. a whole parade that made me practice my dance moves.. Shots: by me Location: Edgware Road, London

Wise men always said that ' distances bring hearts closer', when you love someone and that person resides abroad or far far away from you, then hearts are connected ever than before. This post is dedicated to all the people I know in love, for the ones who are confused about their relationship and make issues out of something so trivial. A friend of mine is in Rome right now and he loves a girl, but he has been questioning everything and now feels this distance will give him the time to think about how to make this relationship stronger. When you are far away from someone you love, you think about him or her a lot, during your work, your social life is incomplete without them. When you have something you don't value it as much as you realise when you start to lose it. It's very true people. To all the people I know in love, be wise, do not lose out what you have, if this were the case of taking love for granted and treating it roughly, and if we were players, then we w

I am walking alone on the streets of London, this is our home, this is our sanctuary, but now all that fails, can you hear me out and know that it hurts and that I have turned bland and soo full of hate. I can not tolerate another summer all alone & mourn in pain, watching others laugh on my face and tell me I was stupid, and grant them away with innocence, as they ruined my relationship, to save their necks and plot evil.. I do not have the stamina and the courage to walk down that road which led to the unity of our love, I can not forget the first gaze that took our breaths away. I can not watch others rejoice while I suffer in misery.. while I cry with my tears bleeding and I feel my veins bursting out in anguish.. Can you come back again to give us another chance, to revive this relationship and save it from all those evil eyes.. Shot : by me Marble Arch Central London

I DONT NEED NOBODY, I DONT FEEL NOBODY,I DONT NEED TO CALL NOBODY, ALL I NEEDED WAS YOU, BUT YOU TOOK NO HEED, TOOK ME FOR GRANTED & VANISHED AWAY. I WAITED FOR LONG TO HEAR THAT CALL FROM YOU, THAT MESSAGE FROM YOU, TRYING TO RECONCILE, BUT YOU PAID NO NEED. NOW I AM WALKING AWAY AND LEAVING YOU WHERE YOU MET ME. I DONT NEED NOBODY BUT YOU, BUT ALL I EVER GOT FROM YOU WAS AN ATTITUDE TO DRIVE ME AWAY. YOU KNEW I LOVED YOU SO BADLY, BUT YOU ENJOYED PUNISHING ME WITH ALL THOSE DISTANCES IN BETWEEN AND INCREASING THEM, WITHOUT EVEN CARING ABOUT ME, I KNOW YOUR NOT SINCERE, BECAUSE THIS PROVE ME SOO RIGHT, THAT NOBODY LOVED ME ENOUGH TO STAND BY ME IN MY PAIN.. I DONT NEED NOBODY, I AM BUILDING A WORLD OF MY OWN, THIS HATRED AND ALL THAT POISON WILL GUARD ME FROM THE CHEATED WORLD OF LOVE. YOU NEVER LOVED ME, EVER, EVER, ALL THAT I KNEW WAS A LIE.. COZ NOBODY NEEDED ME, YOU ALL PRETENDING THAT YOU NEED ME BUT YOU DONT. ALL I NEEDED WAS YOU, BUT LEFT ME ROTTING IN THE DARK, IN MISERIES

This is what I call proper rebellion, turning totally tomboyish, we got a hoo haa situation right now, girls vs boys. And I am puking out more poison than ever! We got a smashing new club for people who are rebels and think alike.. Boyaas you are welcome to join our club. We dress differently, and care less what others think about us! Because if no one has the guts to prove themselve to meet our criteria than they shouldn't be butting in and telling us what are all about, especially if they don't know us! Call us arrogant, stuck up or even rude, we don't care because being too good never gets you anywhere and we have gone through that SH** and got nothing but rubbish in return..! Right, so let's get members rolling!

I am dedicating this to someone out there, someone who knows who the poem is for..Darius really writes very well, I love his words, his voice is amazing, you can actually feel the words. If I had you And you were here If I could kiss And wipe away your tears If I could How I would If I could change A single thing If I could love And touch your face again If I could How I would Only the hurt remains And only the things We can't change Love can be a cruel and bitter Pill to take If we could run Forgive the past If I could lay With my head in your hands If I could How I would If I could live Without regret Turn a page Pretend we never met But you know I can't let go Only the hurt remains And only the things We can't change And only the pain of heartbreak Love can be a cruel and bitter Pill to take If I had you And you were here If I could kiss And wipe away your tears If I could How I would

It's a rainy morning, it's 11:41 am on a Friday and I am sitting in the T.V. room, over looking the window, I watch the storm. The thunderstorm takes place, slowly I begin to hum and I walk towards to the garden in the backyard. Then those words flow : " Without you, I fell in love with an angel, who broke my heart over night, he said he would be there forever, but he left me middle of the road. There's no true love and care in this world. Without you, I am so incomplete, I know this is a repeat. My heart's pounding and I am deserted." As I keep singing away and head back my next door neighbour hears me sing, she was coincidentally in her garden, she called out my name and as always asked me how I was and that I shouldn't stay out in the garden for long or else I would drench. But despite her warning, I went out again and by then the storm had gone worse, I drenched myself deliberately & started singing out in pain. It was almost as my tears had stop

Yes I am a rebel, but my rebellious behavior does not affect people who I cherish the most, my fight is against that system and those people who pretend to know it all and are nothing but hollow from inside and from the system that is ignorant, which imposes its ignorant thoughts and expects everyone to comply with it. But now I feel that whatever they think of me is not important to me, I am not answerable to people who do not even know me well, but only make claims to know me. I have been a rebel ever since I can remember but I try to hide that rebellion for sometime but now I can confidently speak out and say I AM A REBEL! So welcome to my island, which isn't all about me but about challenging those ignorant practices and not simple lip service, journalists and media professionals are always over seen as real society workers, or people who can make a difference. We are usually seen as people who flow in glamorous stuff, but I do not go by all that, I keep myself away from anythi

Yaay I am ready to roll and explore the weird things out in the world.. I am ready to carry my journalism satchel and finally go wacky! YAAYYY! R finally makes a come back, soo soon, I thought its going to take eternity till I would reload and then shoot. The scene is set and all that's missing is MOI! ME! Muchos gracias to Chi Chi, Dr M, Pink B and Sweet S, Kevin & Monsieur M Image: me, by Khameis

For the first time ever in my life I have questioned myself why am I alone at this stage? All of a sudden, everyone, everything seems very distant, unattached , Both nature and fate has been testing my patience and giving me endless mental and physical pain. Enduring pain is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength, when you learn to rise higher even though others do not see it that way. To my own eyes I am problematic and I am a cupid to help others, I love helping others and listening their problems, a friend in US once called me up middle of the night and cried out how I was the only one who could lend her a shoulder. I am not trying to sound vain, but simply modest, I feel so happy when people consider me worthy to share their problems, and for people special in my life, I have always considered to help them in their miseries, aunt agony is how I am defined.. and I thank God for making me capable to help others.. But you know that moment in your life where you fall weak in yo