ArabianOud {R}

When people you know behave so cold one day, You question yourself ‘ why?’ You start blaming yourself for all the mistakes, Slowly, you realise it was all a drama, Everyone vanished and you were left on your own, Silences over took my body and sealed my lips, I walked down the streets lonely trying to smile, The echo of violins melted my heart smoothly, Sitting at the airport all alone, waiting for my flight, I notice how people in groups smile and joke, Hoping I had the same, my eyes showered tears, He loved me, he promised to be my only for eternity, But he left me one day, abandoning me middle of the road, They called themselves my best friends but they lied, For they never cared about my presence ever, Lip services were carried out but nothing practical,I was called ‘selfish’ , I smiled and listened to their words, Selfish for being too considerate and emotionally wrecked, When people you know finally leave you, it’s the end, But a new beginning of your isolation takes off, It to

I am a corpse in flesh and blood, yet surviving, living, not thankless to God but lonely. I am made feel emotionally dead, empty, so unwanted, I was the life of every gathering and circle but now no-one wants to know me, they fake sympathy and friendship, I was full of life, dancing around and smiling and spreading joy and sharing, but now I am lonely, This carnival is full of faces, unknown names, so noisy yet sounds so silent, I am a corpse, I need to live again, to feel I am not dead before my body has crashed in grave, This body is but a cage, the freedom is gained when I fly higher beyond your thoughts, And leave this cage behind, it's shackles of emotions and misunderstandings, Always labelled so badly, called ugly names and called a cheat and betrayer, I smile and listen to these words and my lips read their comments silently, Hiding my tears in my eyes, saying to God, why did I have to be here? Coz no matter what you do, these people will always call me bad names to their

Standing by the shore tonight, I feel so cold full of fright, Imagining how you disrespected my love, I have never felt so alone, For a moment, I feel your with me, Your fragrance of Dhehnel-Oud passes by, I am mesmerised and totally in love, Kissed by the moon- light and cold weather, The shores totally drifted me away, Sitting on the cold sand, I am building a sand castle, Where my dreams reside silently, Cheated, betrayed and bruised, I am emotionally empty within, Felt it was true love, you & me, But less did I know, it was a lie, Living a lie for such a long time, Believing you were mine, I escaped and burnt my wings, Surrounded by your memories, It feels to hard to let go of you, Close my eyes and wake up to afresh, I wish it were so easy to let go of love, But for now,I am so emotionally damaged, Waiting to be healed by true love.. Coz now I realise, I was never in love but only cheated By me Image courtest- www.studioeb.com

I am the Queen and the Ace and I will never compromise beyond this level ever. I love playing hard to get and being myself coz being too nice means being an easy catch..My rules, my games, my cards, my choice, you play, just you and me.. The game is about to begin.. Wait and watch... Yours Arabian Oud R

Is marriage the key to happiness in an adult's life, or is marriage simply just a must coz our religion & society says so? coz they think we would be lonely in the end,, but is it fair to be married and be unhappy in tht marriage? should we get married coz we are pressured by our social circle, once we start seeing our friends, cousins getting married at the same time and we question if we are lonely? is marriage about endless compromises from 1 end, where the husband or wife , one of them is trying to make the other happy? is marriage about just playing fixed roles as we are instilled by our societies, the man gets to be a husband only and the woman is a wife only? can that relationshp be special, if you are more like friends rather enacting in a certain fixed notion? , is marriage a car which runs on 4 wheels, which is balanced by a husband and a wife?? is marriage about fidelity and changing for the best or worst? does the younger generation want to take something like mar

People often judge a book by it's cover, they say ' never judge a book by it's cover' and that's true and that so applies to human beings as well. In the age of modernisation and urbanisation and materialism, we are becoming more capitalist and only judge a person by his wealth only. Wealth maybe important, but it doesn't guarantee someone is chaste, pure, pious or of good character for that sake.. People often come to you if your beautiful and handsome, they try and flirt with you, and wanna be more close to you for that fact. Over the past few months, I have come across a lot of people who wanna know me only cause of my looks and not coz what or who I am.. The marriage of beauty and brains is incomplete if someone is only looking and liking at you for your looks. I credit that purely as 'lust' and nothing to do with your personal qualities. Never judge me by the look, my looks maybe deceiving, try and know me first before plunging to saying 'I like

Beloved, words failedAnd drained me,horrible silence One in my plight is never blamed As patience finds no place My soul, wracked by passion In its paradise, morning to sunset Beloved, There is no doctor to cure your ailment If the doctor is your illness And who may settle your case If your judge be your adversary? I awake bewildered, as I sleep And my tormentor is my beloved BelovedI leant back against the darkness In the night of longing, alien I shed countless tears From heartbreak heavily flow Tasted not the anguish of love Who say tears bring shame Beloved Begrudge me greetings Yet if my eyes you request, I grant, Torturing one you love, a sin Oh if only with mercy you rewarded How benefits one who dies of thirstIf after him rained heavily? -A stunning poem written by Sheikh Mohammed-

It's been 4 years since I lost you, but seems like yesterday night, When I read the email your gone, No more in this world with us, I have not been able to recover, Never accepted your gone, I am so empty frm within, Words fail to express my grief, They know not how I feel, My life is barren without you ,I call out your name but in silence, There is endless pain ahead, For I can't see your face no more, I am so lonely without you, You are so precious and I have lost you, I will keep loving you for eternity, Hoping to meet you in the Here after, My beloved one, I love you full heartedly, May your soul rest in peace angel. Ameen 'The poem is written for someone I dearly love and shall keep loving till the end of time' Location- Uzbekistan Desert Kizil Kum TakirImage taken from> www.elenatour.uz/photo/

I thought you were my friend, my companion in sorrows, and in moments of laughter, When did I know that it wasn’t so, you used me only for your purposes, when you wanted you called me, Whenever I called you, no reply came, I could see no sign of you around me, You said I was your best friend, but all that became a big lie, you would share your sorrows, and ask for advices every now and then, Asking me to make those calls, and pass your messages to your ex, I would do that without thinking twice, I cared and loved you like my sister, but you deceived an abandoned me one day, When I needed you the most in a sorrowing moment, You said I don’t want to be friends no more, It was your ego which came in our ways, You said we were different, culturally, our lifestyles varied so badly that things wouldn’t work, It was an instant blow, and I couldn’t take it, I can’t imagine how some people can do that, using others whenever they please, and trash them whenever they please, today, I lost the m

Once upon a time, I was a very happy soul, laughing, dancing, going crazy and the life of every party and gathering, I was seen as ' go lucky' by others. As we speak, reality flips the other ugly side and I am no longer a happy soul, I am not thankless, I thank Allah for the breathe I take, for the things I have but I am not the same person anymore. I am an arrogant, difficult, miserable human being. You ask me why have I turned into something so harsh, it's a long story, cheated, betrayed and back stabbed by people I once loved and considered my best friends and special. I have been back stabbed so badly, I have lost my patience with people. I know they sayst not all five fingers are the same but I seest all of them alike, atleast the majority is like that.. Purity in love, friendship, special relationshps is all gone, I have lost trust and feel betrayed.. I am a soul whos wandering lonely but I don't feel sorrowed by my loneliness, coz I know end of the day I have so

Towadeeni ! You said you love me, But today you behave strangely, As though we aren’t anything special, You treat me so casually, I don’t seem to understand you, Each time I confront you, You say I am being too silly, Bas, your actions don’t follow your words, Is this love I ask myself? You vanish without informing, Keep me worried all along, Maybe you enjoy this attention, But it ain’t no fun believe me, Once, You see me talk to another guy, I notice anger on your face, You puzzle me every time, Coz you never treat me special, Yet are jealous coz I stray, Towadeeni! Don’t make me laugh now, Love ain’t a penny, you keep flipping, I waited for long but now I am leaving, If not today then bacher (tomoro) you will love me, And I am sure of that, Coz ur gona realise, What you lost was something precious No one aint’ gonna take your attitude, I took it for long, coz I loved ya.. Bas now its time to leave , Till you realise what love is.. Note: Image of a model for Abu Haleeqa

I am beautiful from the outter side but I am so ugly frm inside, you run after the outter side..thinking I am beautiful frm inside, but it aint like tht..majority of the people in this world are plain ugly despite the neat clean image they portray infront of others... They would rather go for someone who's beautiful and corrupt rather than someone who is beautiful and pure. They would want an easy catch, rather a hard to play person. They say 'beauty lies in the eyes of beholder' but I some what refuse to accept this, coz I don't see this happening. It's your outter covering that sells not your inside as a person, not your principles, no matter how educated or talented you are. No matter, how good you are at work or charity or as a family person, they don't wanna know you. The physical attraction that allures you is temporary, what matters is inside, your heart, your feelings, how good you treat someone. The outter beauty ain't gona last forever, what if God

These clouds seem to speak a strong language with me, they seem to guide me everyday, drag me out of sadness and bring me to light. They seem to tell me, I should learn from them, I watch them spin in a wonderous manner. For a moment, you die within, when you feel so connected to the mystical and spiritual side of this world..I always used to think such things don't exist, but with time and experiences, I have come to believe if theres something out there who listens to you closely, it's your own inner pure conscience, which Allah the Almighty blesses us with..

They say marriages are made in heaven but they need to be tied in this world. They say for every single soul there is someone and for those if there is no one.. God always has something well planned for us.. we are not unlucky,, coz we have something better to give back to this world.. I always used to believe, marriages are so lovely and all that but I became to distanced from all that I am lost in my own shell. Trying to understand my ownself and pick my own faults, too perfect I guess... no one is perfect.. sometimes, I feel I will be so misunderstood all the time.. I sealed my lips in silence.. This pic was taken at my friend's wedding reception, he recently got married. I wish him and his wife all the best.. God bless them.. But the question remains, are marriages really made in heaven? or is this simply a proverb to keep our hopes alive..

Whenever I get disappointed and feel broken in life, I think about how life could be if I was born again, as an innocent soul, away from demons and evils in this world. Whenver I fall weak in my knees, I seek the strength frm the Almighty Allah. I have felt so lonely in the past few months, ofcourse I hide it in a lot of ways. One of my classic ways of hiding is laughing and joking with everyone and making it seem everything is perfecto with me. During my trip to Geneva in May, I laughed soo much, I guess I never laughed so much, but then soon as I made my way back to London, I had tears instore waiting for me. I lost someone, and soon my joy ride turned into a tragic one, that's fate, I must admit. But it seems weird, coz I have always had more of my share in sorrow and pain than joy. Saying that doesn't mean I am going to stop being a joker, I will always be a joker for people around me, I guess that ain't gonna change ,my grief and sorrow is mine, I don't want to bur

Finally It’s finally time to leave this cage, I once called my home, A place full of peace and security, But now everything reminds me of you, Haunts me day and night, I thought you would always be there, But that was a big lie, Hoping to hear from you everyday, I spent time thinking about you, Hoping you were next to me, That look in your face, drove me crazy, But all that is plain history now, I am so lonely now again, I tried to unleash the pain, And run away so many times, But every attempt was a failure, Coz deep down, I had hope, Wishing you would come back, And hug me so tight, Kiss my worries away so bright, Everyone told me I was dreaming, I locked myself into deafness, And slowly drifted into darkness, But now I hear my voice echo, My heart questions you, Where are you my beloved? Did you ever think of me, Miss me and love me? It’s finally time to leave, I was living in a cage, You once called ‘ our home’, You kept telling me, I couldn’t leave, But today, As I walk away into

It’s a cold December night, the desert has always charmed me during the night, there’s something about it, maybe it’s that special fragrance of Dhehnel -Oud that’s hypnotised my soul, maybe it’s that special face my eyes always search for, or maybe it’s just I enjoy night dreaming, you know people often day –dream but in my case it’s the opposite. I have always been known as a dreamer, it’s an innate feeling, I can’t help but admit “yes I am a dreamer” don’t we all dream, especially when we are asleep? Don’t we weave dreams of achieving something in our life? I totally fell in love with the desert since a very young age, people think I am crazy, some make fun of my extreme love for the desert, sometimes I feel I was born as someone to be here, although a city girl by birth, I have felt more attached to this region of the world. I have had more passion for living a traditional life rather than a modern one, of course incorporating modernity but not letting my simple life be scattere

Meanwhile everyone is busy buying Gucci, Dior and other perfumes, I tend to prefer Arabian fragrances more than it's western perfumes. I totally love Al Shaya's Perfume bottles, they are Kuwait's numero uno perfumery store. This fragrance shall always remind me of something so special, something unforgettable.

Why do some people wear a mask and betray you by showing to you they really care, love and like you but in reality they don't. They could be using you for a certain purpose, behave like your best pal but when their purpose is over, they vanish away in thin air, like they never existed around you. Over the recent times, I have come to experience this with a lot of people around me. When such people are confronted or questioned, they pretend they don't know what I am talking about. They turn into a deaf and dumb person. They are full of hypocricies, behaving to me your best friend but back stabbing you. There is a wonderful saying, which I shall like to share with you all, here it goes- 'A scorpion will always bite you, not because it has any enemity against you, but because it's part of it's nature.' No matter how much you do for someone they would possibly think they are special and deserve it all and in return they don't do a single thing for you. People h

MISUND ERSTOOD At first they you pretend you care, But in reality you were ignorant, You offered help by lipservice, Nothing practical at all, Everytime I was depressed, You thought it was plain drama, Kept saying 'grow up girl', Changes were noticed slowly, The one day you went away, Here I was seeking love and support, Even my friends abandoned me, Everytime they met,it was about them, I pondered on what I had achieved, But there was no answer at all, They don't understand my problems, They never asked, expecting my life go-lucky, Here I am, Sitting on the bed, surrounded by dark walls, Tears keep flowing down nonstop, Wished there was someone by my side, Wiping them away, hearing my pain out, They call me names and think I am bad, They simply don't know my story, Love they say, is a medicine, But I seest that not, it only gives pain, They all called me immature and left, My heart was broken, the music stopped playing, Violins of my heart cried out so bad, Wished, the

I often ask myself,does true love exist? out of curiosity, this question hoovers around my mind, coz I have seen the majority cry over in love rather than be happy in love. When your alone, you wish you had someone and when you have that someone, your either happy or miserable, soon the short lived happiness turns ugly and all that feeling of love and compassion is fake. I am a non believer in love, but I ask you all, do you believe in love? do you even think something such as 'true love' exists? I would admit, I have come across few very few people who have fought for their love and stood firm and remained sincere and loyal through out.. but then, that's so rare to find, like they say 'true love is soo rare to find',like good things and people are rare to find. Once we lose them, it's then we realise their value, we never value something or someone till we have them, coz we think, we don't have to worry about anything and will never lose them. This is a wro

There are moments in your life, when you feel, it's high time to walk out of the door and let go, and make a new beginning. scratch those old wounds, burn them, erase and learn from them. Its high time, I closed the door and said bye bye to people who have possibly done everything, to hurt and ignore me. It's time to look forward to a brand new beginning.

This photograph was taken at Alton Towers, a theme park in Staffordshire, UK. I fell in love with this castle, but it wasn't quite the ideal castle. It was haunted, hehe not really, they have simply given it that kind of look.

This was the cafe, where we sipped our last hot chocolat and cappuccinos and coffees before we made our way back to Geneve Airport, going back to UK. One of my favorite cafes in Chamonix, a mountainous resort in France. Unforgettable experience, I can't stop going La La and then Ga Ga...

My shadow is a part of me, it's playing around games with me, scares me, makes me smile, then cry and then finally laugh. Im glad I have you as a friend so close to me, who I am sure shall never leave me. P.S- The shadow image is mine and was taken at Alton Towers theme park, UK

The campaign is mainly run by : Rabi'ah, Amina and Halema from London, we are still looking for members in London, who will help co-ordinate material, which we shall receive from the MET Police in London. We shall also need people to forward petitions to their friends, relatives, whosoever is interested in our campaign. These are the first few baby steps our campaign is taking, for people who do not comply with our guidelines and don't believe in this campaign, kindly please don't participate, our battle is for a safer society, and not to ruin anyones reputation, we are not name calling any specific Muslim country, and just because these few bad things happen, don't make them bad or ugly states. We need to extract the root of the problem, we are fully aware, its a journey of a thousand miles before we get anywhere, but atleast we are trying to form a realistic picture to this. This is more than just lip service, getting into action and we would encourage all those indi

Over the past few years, especially recently, there have been a lot of honor killings in the UK, most of them are linked to forced marriages, and not surprisingly, these honor killings have been committed by Muslim people. Recently, a Pakistani girl was brutally murdered by her father, brother and cousin brother, meanwhile her mother and small neices were watching the murder. the neices as small as 2 and 4 yrs old were compelled to stand and watch, so if they tried to do something in future, this would be their end. There have been numerous cases, call it illiteracy or plain 'Jahiliya' ignorance, which results in killing their flesh and blood. Me and my friends have decided to set up a campaign against honor killing and forced marriages, and convince the British government that there is a need to impose a strict law which condemns such barbaric activities. and there shall be severe punishment. In previous editions it was mentioned, the government wouldnt impose a law, becoz it

I love the Saudi styled traditional outfits for women. these are just a few of my favorite styles and colors. Interestingly, these outfits are from the different regions of Saudi Arabia, such as Najd and others.

I have noticed recently a number of people from different racial backgrounds speaking so nastily about others and more over stereotyping you if your not from a certain ethnic background. Someone called me an Indian when I am not, and the other day I heard someone thinking highly of himself coz hes a Saudi guy and thinks other are trash. Then I see differences and some high or low competition going on between people from Asia, Middle East or Africa. Let me make it clear people, the moment you start streotyping others coz their skin is dark, doesnt mean they are frm a certain place. I dont know what makes these so called PROUD and arrogant people so full of themselves, maybe your not all that and you think its okay to DISS SOMEONE ELSE. well heres a piece of advice for you, Islam teaches us equality and end of the day when we all die, Allah aint gona ask your ethnic background or wat family root u got. but wat ur deeds were and how you dealt with other humans regardless of wat their reli

An upcoming story on Pharaoh's dance

My new project in royalty line Prince Andrea Casiraghi from Monaco Watch out for more

Is it justified to kill a man or a woman because we think they are tainting our family's name? Is it ok for a father or a brother to kill his sister and daughter. Ok for them to beat her, ok for them to beat the man who truely loves a woman. The list is endless and yet the reasons are never justified, call it ignorance or plain 'Jahiliya', people have killed innocent souls within their own families to save their so called ' family name' and save it from getting ruined. There have been numerous cases in the UK, this has become so common now, a couple were sentenced to prison, after they were found guilty of killing their daughter. Her body was found in the forest and she was possibly poisoned. Killing an innocent soul is 'Haram', forbidden, taboo. I never read in any Islamic book saying it's ok to kill someone who's pure innocent. A father killed his daughter, when he saw her talk to a boy, and then he automatically assumes, he is her boyfriend, espec

Ya Ommi, I have felt so secure in your arms and slept forever as I recall. You have been my best friend and my teacher who shared my pain. Without you, my life would be so empty and meaningless, I would be misguided without you.. Watchout, for a new poem titled 'Ya Ommi' by me.

I am trapped so badly that now I want to fly away from this cage called my body. People think I pretend or act and want attention, but they don't the pain I suffer. People have misunderstood me and thought I am tyrant, but Alas less did they know me. I so badly trapped here, I simply want to vanish away..

Carousel of Life taken by me Someone once said, ' even if you were to stand in the middle of a carnival, you would still feel lonely, and if you were to stand in the middle of a forest or seaside, you would feel so joyful.' I never believed in this saying until I experienced it myself. Such is the feeling of being in a carnival, yet feeling like a stranger to that crowd.

I took this photograph during the Dubai Summer Surprises 2005, this traditional Emirati dance took place at the World Trade Centre. I was very much amazed to see the way the Dubai cultural department are promoting the culture this way during events. I was probably the only woman taking photographs of this dance hheheh.

I am so faithless in these human relationships, once so close to my heart but now I can't hear my heart beat the way it used to beat before, pulsating like a rollercoaster ride. They name call me as Miss Sensitive or Girl with a rotten Attitude and then one day they all started to vanish away, unable to notice their disapperance,I was lost in my thoughts. Slowly I started realising the selfishness of relationships, a relationship of convenience was what we call it, slowly slowly loneliness started to over take my existence. At first, I felt suffocated and then I became so accustomed to this lonely existence. But I always knew He was watching me, He would hear my heart beat, He would watch me cry and then wipe my tears away and then smile and then behave like a 2 year old. He was the Almighty God, for I totally fell in love with Him, I knew others would come and go and break me from time to time, in the form of a friend, a beloved, someone close, they would keep abandoning me for t

I was once a believer in love, but now I am an unbeliever in love, I was so deeply smitten by his smile, but now I wonder what drove me to him? I thought love meant eternal BLISS, but then I realised it was plain HELL, Prancing around the trees like a child, I seemed to lose my innocence in love, Love, you followed my shadow everywhere, And then you entered my blood and then my soul, You crept into my alley in the dark night, Then stole my sleep and hypnotised me, I thought it was so special, 'true love' But it was nothing but a gud 'Time pass' for you, Driving me to insanity and sleepless nights, Then stealing away my dreams and peace, You vanish in the midst of the night, I thought you understood me, you was special, But it was all a charade you put up, You behave all sweet and innocent infront of me, But inside thee are full of betrayal and evil, Now I am an unbeliever in love, Thankyou for waking me up, Coz I can see I was lucky to walk away lonely, I am deaf to the

This is one of my favourite rides at Thorpe Park. I would label this is a mix of joyride and misery, but its damn fun....

You loved me never... Now everything just makes pure sense, Coz I see how stupid was I, I thought you loved me deeply, I thought you were crazy about me, But now it makes me feel stupid, Coz you loved me never, All that was only an act, To use me, and my innocent feelings, I called you my teacher, my lover, But you fail to meet that criteria, I feel so cold, despite your soft touch, I feel so empty, despite you embracing me, I am deceived, because it was a drama, I entrusted you with my precious soul, And you cared less for what was precious, You never valued my presence in your life, Took me as another person, it hurts now, Coz I thought you were my man, My heart keeps repeating, though I ignore, You loved me never, it beats so loudly, Disheartened by love, I pay no heed to your words, Coz you loved me never, never, ever, ever....

Fidelity You talk about fidelity, I thought you dared me, I was up for this challenge, But then it all seems so fake, Coz you never ever cared, Unaware of your mood swings, I am here by your side, loving you, But it seems like a game, a set up, Watching me talk to my male mate, You get so jealous, you walk away, I am running after you, trying to convince, Why do you take it the wrong way man? He's only a "friend" of mine, I insist, You don't wanna hear this now, You say it to my face,"I am tired of your friends, tell them to go", You raise hand to slap me and I run away, It's been always about what you wanted, You neglected my needs and what I am made of, It's been a few years of misery with all that, Those gloomy, rainy nights all alone, Your living with me,But it seems I don't know you at all, I cook that special meal for ya, Food on the table goin wasted, What the hell, this life's so twisted, I sneak by the window and watch you, You walk