ArabianOud {R}

From the moment we met, From the moment our eyes met, And our hearts connected, This feeling called 'love' grew stronger, Days went by, weeks and then months, It's been so long since I first loved you, But problems emerge and so does pain, No love story is perfect, Neither are you, nor am I, I remember your sweet voice, And that sharp gaze of your eyes, Piercing my heart with every time, The innocence of your thoughts, I look upon you as a lover, a teacher, a friend, I loved you not for a day, Nor for a week or months, My love to you is for eternity, No matter if silence is between us, It wraps me around with the warmth of your voice, I hear your voice echo and call me home, I loved you for who you are, No matter how hard things may seem, But victory shall over take this misery, And our love shall blossom soon, True love remains through ups and downs, It is not weak at heart, It lives a lifetime, If there is hope and faith with honesty, Love shall grow stronger, My love to

For someone, It seems I have become worthless for you, now that the game is getting over for you, you left the scene and left me alone to suffer. Silence may have taken over and made these moments hard but what breaks my heart that I never meant anything for you other than a name. I have become a name and a number and one you feel it's enough, you just decide to delete me. I used to believe that love is deeper and pure and it can tolerate any pain because no pain means no gain. If we got everything in life very easily we would not value it, and we would not respect how much hard work that is put into getting it. Relationships have lost it's meaning.. in the digital age of the internet, facebook, myspace, flickr, hi5 and others, it seems that real relationships are committing a daily suicide... if you choose to keep your marital status single online you are in trouble if you keep it taken , you are in trouble.. but beyond all this what matters is a real relationship that is beyo

If you really love me, Then why did you leave me, Middle of the road alone, If you really love me, Why did you break all the promises, And use words to cheat me, If you really care about me, Then why did you let me die in silence, If you really love me, Then why didn't wipe my tears? Can you hear what everyone is saying? They say you don't love me, Because this is a game for you, And that you won't ever come to me, If you really love me, Why did you not be there, When I needed you the most. ___________ words: by me

There's something about him, The way he looks at me, His eyes pierce my heart, The way he talks to me, He touches my soul deeply, His smile melts me completely, I can feel my cheeks go red, And the warmth of his words, So pure and full of loyalty, His eyes kill me smoothly, They force me to remain silent, And gaze at him for hours, His eyes hypnotise me, I feel myself immersed forever, He pierces my heart with his love, And his endless care, Oh, how I long to be with him forever, His eyes cast a magic on me, I love him dearly endlessly.

I gave my all to the one I loved, To the one who was my world, But it feels so stupid now, Because now I have nothing left, Vanished into thin air, he walked away, Leaving me behind with emptiness, Holding hands in hands, But not knowing who I really am, This feels such a lie, Needed those eyes searching for me, Searching endlessly, But I was so wrong, Because I never got that in return, My honesty, my enemy, Like a snake tied around my neck, Feeling so destitute and crumbled, My emotions wounded, Bleeding endlessly but you can not see, Come closer to see my tears fall, Hear me cry those days and nights, When I shared my world with him, When my honesty hurts, When it has left me so alone, Believing I am the only one, When I am not, This love, a slow poison, A disguse of a million lies. ______________

When all friends vanish away, When love vanishes away, When emotional bonds are broken, And hearts are spared the silence, When nobody understands you, And judging you all the time, When people keep breaking your heart, And tears never end, When life seems like a joke, And the purpose to be here is unclear, When you lose pleasure in life, And plan a journey into the unknown, When friendships and love were artificial, And you realise you were such a fool, To fall into traps one after another, And people used you and vanished away. This is when you call and emotional suicide, Because you are left of emptiness...

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I don't know how to explain this situation, I feel rock bottom at this level, there are all kinds of emotions running inside me.. fear of losing, worrying, pain, repeat of the same events which took place a few months ago.. the feeling of losing the meaning of life and of feeling... walking so far ahead that it doesn't hurt losing my life and losing the meaning of life.. But the one thing that does really matter the most here is the people I love, my parents, and for me they are my world.. I must say this has been the worse year of my entire life.. so much pain, sadness and endless worry.. not a moment of happiness.. I wonder why I am here.. what about the people who do everything wrong and are not even scared of Allah but they get away with everything they are doing fine.. then they say that Allah knows best, yes indeed that's what we say in the end to make ourself believe that everything is going to be fine.. but how far is this true? I don't know even know where to g

When promises break, Hearts break, Distances increase, Communication breaks down, You do not see eye to eye, Hearts beat faster, Your mind keeps thinking, When promises break, Sadness overtakes you, For the one who has been wronged, Is left miserable and alone.. Hurt and in endless pain.. When you need someone by your side And they are not there for you, How does it feel to be alone, And to suffer all alone, In silence and tears? How does it feel to suffer, When he has no clue, Of your miseries, When time is up, He will realise the loss, When you walk away, When promises break..

Silence can be ones best friend when noone around is you when you need them. Sometimes, a piece of paper and a pen are enough to accompany on a long journey. When you keep looking at the mobile phone for someone to call, or for a friend to sms you back and you get no reply or importance that one does deserve, it isolates you. An inner isolation is worse because it cuts off your power to interact with others. The voices within limit your existence and disconnect you from all those people who you think are your friends but are not. It disconnects you from all those who you think could be your shoulder to hear you cry. But now I wonder which way to go, I feel very lost and it seems that silence can be a painful suffering. Sometimes, when I feel that I need to hear someone's voice at this late hour of the night, and there is no reply, I feel alone.Sometimes when I try to make everything okay and make an attempt to gather all my friends together I fail, only to realise that I am no lon

When nobody understands you and keeps labelling you things you are not, and makes life miserable for you, the best thing to do is to walk away, let time give them the answers because people are so blind to their own conscience that they do not hear themselves clearly. They are simply looking for chances to label someone in a negative way. Emptiness & loneliness walk together and in the beginning you feel scared because you are in this strange situation but then you come to accept and love it and in the end get used to it. I spent a large amount alone which gives me peace. A lot of the people I know do not even read the posts I send them but that doesn't matter, I know who matters and who doesn't. Honestly, I am sick of being nice to people who do not deserve me. Atleast I have the decency not to hang up on people's faces and over the phones. Atleast I am not going to end everything because of a stupid reason, people who know the meaning of relationships are people who s

It's the end of October and it's getting very chilly in London. It's weekend but I feel very repulsive and shattered. These words are like a constant companion in my life, the more I try to use new ways to deal with situations, the more worse it's going. I must say that this year has been very unlucky for me and everything has been going wrong. Next week (28th october) is going to be the beginning of a new journey in my life but I am rather not looking forward to it. If there is a way to escape, I will but then I wonder how far will I run away and how long will it be before I end up in the same place with the same people. In the last two weeks, I have been doing a lot of reading of new and old books. One of the books that I found very shocking was 'Slave Girl', a book written by Sarah Forsyth, a British lady who talks about her life as a prostitute in Amsterdam and how she ends up in this trap after she believes she is applying for the job of a nursery nurse. S

I can't turn back, I don't want to open my eyes, I don't want to cry no more, But then, he scares me, Why am I going in circles? And why is there no escape? Why does it feel okay to die? And not fear death anymore? Why does it feel to laugh at madness? And not fear others' leaving me today? Why do I colour my face black? When this colour is so dark and dangerous? I can't turn back and act, And try to be someone I am not, Why can't they understand what i feel? And why do they make me feel strange? Why does this sunny weather look dull? And the cold weather excites me? Why have I lost faith in myself? And given up myself on going wrong? I am not sure anymore, If anyone could make me happy anymore, Or I could even want to be happy anymore, I don't know what to believe anymore, What is love? And how does it feel? I can't turn back to life, Because it scares me all the time.

A love that I searched for, A love full of honesty and giving, A love that was kind and caring, A love that was not 'selfish', A love that was gentle, A love full of innocence, Not a fairytale but so real, A love not so weak, A love that would be friendly, A love I never had, A forever love. __________________ Words: by me Shot: by me Location: Hyde Park, London Sept 30/09/ 2009 Models: a couple

Sitting by the window and looking outside my garden, it's a chilly day, winter is almost here, it is that time of the year, students go back to a new academic year, people are looking forward to a new beginning, meanwhile some are coming to an end. Strange how life is. My mood's very sober, very glum, very thoughtful yet very negative. A feeling of emptiness has taken over me. I don't know where to begin, actually for once I don't want to repeat and moan about things, but rather mention facts here. I lead a secret life, but very few people know this and those who know are people who really love me and understand me. Recently a close friend told me I was 'inconsiderate, selfish and thankless'. To my shock, I could not believe I was reading these words from him, I had only given him an advice in a nice way but he took it in a negative way. When I tried to explain to him how I meant it, he said all those words to me. He told me that it was fine by him that I go o

When it comes to chocolates or candies, we have so many choices but when it comes to life we have to pick the good choice for us and think before we act upon it. When we make a friend, when we fall in love, when we give our heart away to one person, we should ask ourself the question ' is he or she the one?', but what happens once you give it away? How does it feel to be taken for granted and treated like a toy? How does it feel when someone so special stops caring and smiling and giving you the love you deserve. When they keep ignoring you?How does it feel to betray someone's love when they give you everything? Why were you so thankless? Why did you not appreciate? How does it feel to love someone but not get anything in return, not even words of love? How does it feel to be stone hearted and be silent?How does it feel to be hurt so deeply by your friends who betrayed your mind and your trust? How does it feel when your most trusted friends betray you and talk behind you?

حامل الهوى تعب ـــ يستخفه الطرب If he cries, it is right for him [to do so] - what he has is no game. إن بكى يحق له ـــ ليس ما به لعب Whenever one cause [of pain] comes to an end - from you, [another] cause returns to me. كلما انقضى سبب ـــ منك عاد لي سبب You laugh obliviously - as the lover weeps. تضحكين لاهية ـــ والمحب ينتحب You marvel at my sickness - my health is the marvel. تعجبين من سقمي ـــ صحتي هي العجب