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My angel by Arabian Oud {R}

From my old closet of thoughts: this probably fits in my life now! have a read... and let me know what you think!!!!
I wanted you as a part of my soul, my heart but I was foolish because no one was worthy of my love. All my efforts, emotions and time were a total waste. Why did I believe, you were mine and why did I believe I belonged to you? You gave me these dreams, you instilled love in my soul, that mystery than disappeared away. Now everything seems so distant and vague; seems like another dream, another illusion, that took me on a joy ride than converting into tragedy and finally into an unforgettable rollercoaster ride. My eyes open and it’s all gone, like a fairground where everything dims out after midnight.

Could you hear my heart beat? Could you hear these silences speak out and fill the loneliness around me? Could you stop blaming myself for being what I am? The magic of those eyes seems ever-lasting. He captivated my heart and that this wasn’t a crush. There was a bond created the moment our eyes met. They say silences express feelings of acceptance or denial from a beloved, but I question myself, where do I stand in such a situation? What am I suppose to believe? Where is this all going towards?

It couldn’t get harder than this, knowing that I wouldn’t be with you anymore. Knowing that I was simply a name for you not treated as a human being. Knowing that the paths ahead are so vague, I have no one but my shadow, you stood by me through miseries. I wish I could have someone so pure.
Why did my heart set upon him? Why did I lose my sight where there is no return? Words confuse, don’t play this game again. Time has changed. I have been in a vicious cycle for sometime.

Felt like a tunnel of emotions so dark and myself. Saw sunshine, tried to grab it but vanished away, before I could call you mine. Vanished before I could hold you in my palms and feel the warmth of your power.
These strangers, this city, those places reminding me of my coldness and that untold story, everything has merged into a nightmare. If I could have one look into your eyes and have you as mine, these games would end. But it’s not so simple.

Where could I find you? So far, you have made these appearances in my feelings and thoughts. How can I sketch you, when no one could do justice do to your looks, no one could sketch the face of my angel, but he himself. I know my angel will come one day for real, to seal this pain and that finally reunion... how does it feel to be loved and how does it feel to be hurt? How does it feel to be loved and love someone?
2006/2007

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