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Pain, shackles and a broken cage by Arabian Oud {R}


It's been ages since I last penned down something for the blog. I did happen to write a new poem, but didn't manage to post it yet, hopefully I will do so soon. This month's blog revolves around a lot of things, but specifically I would like to talk about 'the preception of depression and health conditions going wrong' by people who matter to us. For those people who have religiously read my blogs and known me through my writing, they must have certainly noticed that 'depression' has been the keyword in my works. It's very unfortunate that depression has been a very seen as a very 'complicated' issue. Like any other disease, it is a disease of the mind that begins to over take your existence, there are vicious cycles that cause paranoia and a lot more. When your in a relationship, people do not even bother to understand what your going through, they probably think ' depression' is a defense mechanism to cause fights. Depression like diabetes is a problem that needs to be addressed, welcomed and treated with full support.Have you ever noticed if you were to God forbid suffer from a health condition, how people would start to fail to surround you, slowly it fades away. It's not about ' playing the victim' mentality, it's more about the support one needs in their weak moments in life. I have been suffering from a health condition, however I do not want to get into details, but this is truly teaching me a lesson in life. And when you add depression to the equation, it becomes a nightmare.
Mood swings, clinging on to memories, things that hurt like a thorn, sketching paintings, and writing poems, spending time alone, traveling, meeting people, exploring life. In other words, running away from the concept of 'companionship', once bitten twice hurt. It's like slow poison that eradicates emotional well being. As one of the lecturers at London Metropolitan University quotes " Health is the complete balance of mental, physical and emotional well being. Not only the absence of a disease ( quoted from the WHO)."
Have you ever looked into the mirror and spoken to yourself and smiled and said ' Naa, it can't that bad for me, can it? I will survive another day and I will be a stronger person.' As long as the person is alive, the drama of life continues. But the battles continue and get more bitter when your a woman, men for every reason have always from the birth of mother earth till the Doomsday or Day of Judgement be at privilege: as a father, as a son, as a husband, as a brother. They have always treated women as a commodity, and this goes for most of the men. Yes call me a feminist, but I wouldn't support women totally, women too have their faults and they have been the causes of many mishaps in history and roots of evil. But men have always considered everything to their advantage. Yes I must admit some of my best and close friends are 'men' but these are 'nice, geniune' men who are rare to find. Good, real and honest men are 'rare' to find. Time is flying by like slipping sand, the more you hold it in your palm, the more it slips away when palms open.
Being a woman has it's own torture, there is a lot of pain to be human let alone be a woman. Shackles of traditions, society, culture and religion imposed. I won't say I am a very religious person, yes I have fear of God and I believe Islam is the best religion in the universe, I am proud to be a Muslim, someone who wants to keep improving her faith till her last breath. Religion is not about showing off, it's always been about you and God end of the day.
Battling to break the cage is a tough cookie to crack, and it doesnt get any easier when the one you love or even care for just misunderstands you and friends you thought were yours just turned their back on me. I would like to mention one particular friend here who holds a special place in my life, his name's Dani. Dani has been very supportive in my difficult moments in life, the way he holds back himself and composes himself in difficult moments in life is so inspiring. His humour is absolutely crazy and may God always keep him hearty and full of life. Ameen.
Dani has been like a teacher to me, they say distances bridge hearts and bring people closer, I guess in this case, this is very true.
Continued... part 2

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