ArabianOud {R}

حامل الهوى تعب ـــ يستخفه الطرب If he cries, it is right for him [to do so] - what he has is no game. إن بكى يحق له ـــ ليس ما به لعب Whenever one cause [of pain] comes to an end - from you, [another] cause returns to me. كلما انقضى سبب ـــ منك عاد لي سبب You laugh obliviously - as the lover weeps. تضحكين لاهية ـــ والمحب ينتحب You marvel at my sickness - my health is the marvel. تعجبين من سقمي ـــ صحتي هي العجب

I am feeling lost for words and more over I have never felt so miserable, unhappy and wrecked from within myself. I feel a world has totally destroyed and I have to build it all over again from the beginning. To others I may seem a bit normal but I know that I am not the same person who could laugh at jokes and pretend to be a cool girl. I am totally destroyed. To my enemies this may be a good news but they too will have their down fall and their bad time shall soon come. I speak evil for them for I believe an eye should be punished with an eye, and that is the law of nature and religion. For blood is blood equal. I have been surrounded by so much darkness of the environment of the constant negative stuff I hear and take in that I really am not sure of my own self anymore. One moment I am laughing the other the tears will not stop. I am trying to hang in side & be strong but the more quickly one gets destroyed, the more harder and longer it takes to build back, especially if your e...

Let this pain remain, For there is sweetness in suffering And it keeps giving me hopes, I am shattered from within, But my heart’s accustomed, I can only hear see myself around, In all those corner of this house, Those mirrors portray myself, I am with his memories, Nothing but sweeter than that, His face, his voice, his words, There is no stopping no more, For this pain keeps increasing, My tears flow helplessly, It’s turned me so cold now, I can not smile ever again, I can not feel the same again, Feeling so punished and alone, Misery prevails over this soul, And this pain remains. ------------

Ya Fas Sweet as honey, pure as crystal, Laughter as innocent as a child, Sincerity as pure as an angel, Believer of honesty and faith, Your my best friend and angel, Ya Fas Thinking of you makes me smile, Your words hold back humor, Every word you utter is a spark, Your intelligence so grand, Your eyes so deep as an ocean, Your friendship so precious, Like a diamond so precious, In moments of pain, You stood to hold me back, Cannot forget those moments ever, Your my advisor, my teacher, Ya Fas You are an angel with no wings, But you are heart is so kind, Ya Fas I thank God when He gave me, As a real friend, Hope we remain friends forever And ever and ever. Ameen.

It all began in the arms of love, It casts a spell on me so deeply, Makes me fall in love and Love damaged me so deeply, Feel conflict and so much grief, There is a constant war inside my heart, I kept believing what my eyes showed me, I kept believing those words so honestly, O’ what a fool was I to be so innocent, And believe one plain blindly, There was an endless wait ahead, Kept waiting to see him, But no sign, Kept waiting to hear from him, But no sign, Kept waiting when I shouldn’t have, Excuses, neglect, reject took over love, Where did love even vanish away? O’ how those days and nights have passed, It’s been an endless wait, Patience running dry and eyes so tearful, Can’t cry no more, my eyes refuse, If only I heard them before, Desires wrapped in reject, neglect and pain, Felt so stupid standing here all alone, Burnt desires and chose silence, Walked away from this feeling, And told myself it was a dream, Coz real men don’t play games, Love’s story is tragic yet powerful

My heart is beating faster, my eyes are restless, my soul is in so much pain, suddenly, there is darkness everywhere. I reach out to touch his shadow, but he's gone. It's been games so far, then I wake up, it was a dream, they were all nightmares, bad dreams. I am so scared, ,my heart is sinking. I can feel my surrounding so empty. Since he left, the world seemed so cold. He's no more, it was announced one week ago. At first, my expressions were frozen, I didn't know how to react, with me it's always been I cry after a delay when something big happens in my life. I cried, I couldn't stop crying. He's died, he's away from the pain of this world. In the past, I tried to imagine life after death. What would happen if I died one day? Nothing, to the pain it may cause my loved ones, other than that another human is gone. But they say, killing one human is to kill man kind. My thinking has become so negative after his death. It brought me to look at life in a ...