They say if you are with a crowd of people, you are known as the most popular one, you recognised by the circle of friends you deal with but sometimes even having people around means nothing. It is one of those times in your life, when people move away, distances, circumstances, excuses, reasons, selfishness, whatever you can call them, it's one of these or all of them. With time, I have realised that regardless of how many friends I have, I am very empty, coz time has tested these people and I know who's sincere with me as a friend and who's not even capable of classifying as a friend.
I have always been in a position to fall back on nothing but ground and find myself lonely again, the carnival has ended, the party is over, everything is gone. Despite the busy work life and all, the emptiness will never go. At times, I wish I was a kid again, with my childhood friends, not afraid of speaking my mind but as time went by, things changed, misery, sadness and pain over took the happiness of childhood.
Been there to give my friends a shoulder and support them but never got that back from anyone of them. I am not perfect, I am a human being full of mistakes and trying to correct myself every now and then. The biggest pain I have faced and still do is when no-one understands me, I have tried to keep myself quiet and hear others and their problems and be of help but in my case, I have never been understood.
And in the end, I have myself, the loss of losing someone I love, or a friend is like an insecurity created by those who I valued a lot, by those who took my feelings for granted but never gave back the same to me.
But as darkness is here to stay and light moves away, I can assure myself I won't be alone with this darkness wrapping me in it's arms and the losses of being lost or left will soon heal. Although I don't know how honest am I being to myself, how can someone like me heal when the soul is injured and words have no failed to express my own pain.
Regardless of all the wealth in the world a person has, if you do not have someone sincere, loving and caring in your life, who will accompany you through the ups and downs of life, the wealth is useless. The tragedy of life is when you have no one to relate to and when you trust, you are betrayed and left alone, which is very common now, how people play with emotions and leave u.
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