Skip to main content

When they failed to understand, I sealed my lips by Arabian Oud {R}


It felt like thunder struck me hard and my body has collapsed, my mind has stopped functioning, my writing capabilities have failed and I have no power to write on.. but something kept dragging me ahead, I don't know what it was, my sadness overtook my joys. The miseries I have endured are sealed with this heart, for the world I am a joker, a jester, but the pain is hidden.. let the world enjoy the show and go back home with a smile. There is soo much I want to express and I don't even know if I shall be successful in doing so.

Love entered in my body and leaked into my veins, my brain, my whole existence and captivated my heart, and then finally poisoning my soul.. romantic or scary, I don't know, but I regard it rather 'tragic'. There were moments when being with someone felt so safe and then I wanted to run away to ask myself if I was really happy, if whatever was happening was true or simply a set up? Insecure as much as you think I am, I have gone through soo many nervous breakdowns in the past 2 months. My writing is my friend, for someone I was very selfish because the only motive I ever had was to get something out of that person and not 'be a friend', and then love knocked on my heart and scratched my heart soo deeply, can you see the blood bleeding?I have felt like a corpse for several years, I have played cupid because I thought I did a good job in bringing two lonely hearts together, but I was unlucky myself, all I ever got was sorrow and loneliness.

I felt like life had become so colorless because I was no longer myself, I have radically changed and lost interest in soo many things I once loved. I have been so pumped with anger and sadness. I have suffered critical consequences, I have been name called a lot that I myself don't even know if being honest and sincere has any positive outcome.

When my friends and people I thought failed to understand me, I sealed my lips and decided to walk away, I know my absence has no meanings, I am another mortal, and then someone will replace me, that's the selfishness of this world. I hated people and still do to a great extent, because it is these large majorities who have betrayed me.

Arabian Oud {R} is a broken heart, who only writes out and does not seek fame, let her been anonymous to this world. She is as lonely as ever, all she ever believed in was 'true love' but sadly there is no 'true love', it only exists in fairy tales; this world is full of deceit, lies, betrayal and unfaithful individuals who have always used and abused sincere individuals.


here I am, searching a new way, I am lost in a dark tunnel, but someday I will come out, without anyones help but God.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

حامل الهوى تعب. أبو نواس. ( The One Burdened With Passion Is Weary. Abu Nuwas [d. 814 AD]) on Arabian Oud {R}

حامل الهوى تعب ـــ يستخفه الطرب If he cries, it is right for him [to do so] - what he has is no game. إن بكى يحق له ـــ ليس ما به لعب Whenever one cause [of pain] comes to an end - from you, [another] cause returns to me. كلما انقضى سبب ـــ منك عاد لي سبب You laugh obliviously - as the lover weeps. تضحكين لاهية ـــ والمحب ينتحب You marvel at my sickness - my health is the marvel. تعجبين من سقمي ـــ صحتي هي العجب
Post a Comment
Read more

MISUNDERSTOOD- by Arabian Oud {R}

MISUND ERSTOOD At first they you pretend you care, But in reality you were ignorant, You offered help by lipservice, Nothing practical at all, Everytime I was depressed, You thought it was plain drama, Kept saying 'grow up girl', Changes were noticed slowly, The one day you went away, Here I was seeking love and support, Even my friends abandoned me, Everytime they met,it was about them, I pondered on what I had achieved, But there was no answer at all, They don't understand my problems, They never asked, expecting my life go-lucky, Here I am, Sitting on the bed, surrounded by dark walls, Tears keep flowing down nonstop, Wished there was someone by my side, Wiping them away, hearing my pain out, They call me names and think I am bad, They simply don't know my story, Love they say, is a medicine, But I seest that not, it only gives pain, They all called me immature and left, My heart was broken, the music stopped playing, Violins of my heart cried out so bad, Wished, the...
4 comments
Read more

WHY WEAR A MASK? by Arabian Oud {R}

Why do some people wear a mask and betray you by showing to you they really care, love and like you but in reality they don't. They could be using you for a certain purpose, behave like your best pal but when their purpose is over, they vanish away in thin air, like they never existed around you. Over the recent times, I have come to experience this with a lot of people around me. When such people are confronted or questioned, they pretend they don't know what I am talking about. They turn into a deaf and dumb person. They are full of hypocricies, behaving to me your best friend but back stabbing you. There is a wonderful saying, which I shall like to share with you all, here it goes- 'A scorpion will always bite you, not because it has any enemity against you, but because it's part of it's nature.' No matter how much you do for someone they would possibly think they are special and deserve it all and in return they don't do a single thing for you. People h...
Post a Comment
Read more