ArabianOud {R}

This is one of the moments when I had to say no to the camera,too much photos taken at Ski Dubai, in Dubai last month. Photo by: Ahmed

This is a sketch I made when I was in school, I went through turmoil and mood swings and now I relate to it. 2001

A change in locations can change a person's fate. I am a believer of destiny but there is a confusion that goes about for the past few months now. In this month's edition, I am talking about my confused heart. A zillion threads of emotions are pulling me apart, wrecking me and making me question what I want. After a constant adrenaline ride of love, I thought the empty phase in my life would sedate my nerves but I was proven wrong. Being out of a relationship, even when you know people have feelings for you can mess you up. Runaway is a quest for sanity, for every human being, the element of insanity is a way of balancing our normal life. I can not express more than how I am running away for some time from everyone, I hope they do not misunderstand me and do not hate me. I need to realise and know what exactly I want, I can not deliberately hurt someone or use someone, I can not play with anyones feelings. I simply can not. I am closing myself into a shell, which is my world.....

Walking past crowded places and on your own, you feel so lonely today. Friends soon become strangers, how strange, we befriend strangers and become friends and then it goes back to their origins. I thought holding back to his memories would give me peace but they haunted me, Then someone came and wiped away tears for time being, not knowing he would multiply them, Pain escalated and soon I started sinking, sinking in darkness and silence... As the hustling takes place, I am stagnant and deaf to the sound of the music, I miss you today my dear friend, where are you? I can't simply find you, I framed you in my memories and etched your words in my brain so deeply, Every moment I breathe goes in the past tense and I am afraid of myself, Unwanted, lonely and what not, the list of words continue from here on, All that glitter that sparkles, it's gold as you come closer, it becomes an ugly creature. People around but soon fade as their purposes fulfil, so here I am alone again, In th...

Everything around, everyone around yet there is a sense of loneliness and unwanted feeling in my bones. I wish I could you tell you what I am going through now, what I am suffering through but I can't. For this pain is mine to tolerate. I have lost all the hope ever left, love, friendship everything cheated me, I know real friends rarely exist and love is a matter of luck. I am hopeless in the middle of this carnival, my pain is taking over my soul and slowly I walk away into the unknown, a sense of failure and sadness has over taken my body and nothing makes me smile.

I stand by the cliff and watch the sunset, It depresses me at first for a moment, Then the brightness of sun enlightens my soul, I have never felt so lonely, as I do today, Never felt so misunderstood, Emotions were taken for granted, And so was I, I am here, "he said" but that was all, Never an initiative made to communicate, This is so one-sided I said to myself, I am so taken for granted, All the losses were mine and gains were yours, It's always been so cliched, My life spins in the same circle, same emotions, So lonely and so taken for granted by all, Why were losses all mine and gains yours? Could you make me feel so secure and love me for sure? Image courtesy: Thanks to my best friend Dodi, this photograph was taken at Rawshe.

When you are with everyone but me, you're with no one. When you are with no one but me, you're with everyone. Instead of being so bound up with everyone be everyone. When you become that many, you're nothing. Empty By Rumi- Persian poet Image taken : http://www.trekearth.com/gallery/photo3854.htm