Skip to main content

Pain, shackles and a broken cage by Arabian Oud {R}


It's been ages since I last penned down something for the blog. I did happen to write a new poem, but didn't manage to post it yet, hopefully I will do so soon. This month's blog revolves around a lot of things, but specifically I would like to talk about 'the preception of depression and health conditions going wrong' by people who matter to us. For those people who have religiously read my blogs and known me through my writing, they must have certainly noticed that 'depression' has been the keyword in my works. It's very unfortunate that depression has been a very seen as a very 'complicated' issue. Like any other disease, it is a disease of the mind that begins to over take your existence, there are vicious cycles that cause paranoia and a lot more. When your in a relationship, people do not even bother to understand what your going through, they probably think ' depression' is a defense mechanism to cause fights. Depression like diabetes is a problem that needs to be addressed, welcomed and treated with full support.Have you ever noticed if you were to God forbid suffer from a health condition, how people would start to fail to surround you, slowly it fades away. It's not about ' playing the victim' mentality, it's more about the support one needs in their weak moments in life. I have been suffering from a health condition, however I do not want to get into details, but this is truly teaching me a lesson in life. And when you add depression to the equation, it becomes a nightmare.
Mood swings, clinging on to memories, things that hurt like a thorn, sketching paintings, and writing poems, spending time alone, traveling, meeting people, exploring life. In other words, running away from the concept of 'companionship', once bitten twice hurt. It's like slow poison that eradicates emotional well being. As one of the lecturers at London Metropolitan University quotes " Health is the complete balance of mental, physical and emotional well being. Not only the absence of a disease ( quoted from the WHO)."
Have you ever looked into the mirror and spoken to yourself and smiled and said ' Naa, it can't that bad for me, can it? I will survive another day and I will be a stronger person.' As long as the person is alive, the drama of life continues. But the battles continue and get more bitter when your a woman, men for every reason have always from the birth of mother earth till the Doomsday or Day of Judgement be at privilege: as a father, as a son, as a husband, as a brother. They have always treated women as a commodity, and this goes for most of the men. Yes call me a feminist, but I wouldn't support women totally, women too have their faults and they have been the causes of many mishaps in history and roots of evil. But men have always considered everything to their advantage. Yes I must admit some of my best and close friends are 'men' but these are 'nice, geniune' men who are rare to find. Good, real and honest men are 'rare' to find. Time is flying by like slipping sand, the more you hold it in your palm, the more it slips away when palms open.
Being a woman has it's own torture, there is a lot of pain to be human let alone be a woman. Shackles of traditions, society, culture and religion imposed. I won't say I am a very religious person, yes I have fear of God and I believe Islam is the best religion in the universe, I am proud to be a Muslim, someone who wants to keep improving her faith till her last breath. Religion is not about showing off, it's always been about you and God end of the day.
Battling to break the cage is a tough cookie to crack, and it doesnt get any easier when the one you love or even care for just misunderstands you and friends you thought were yours just turned their back on me. I would like to mention one particular friend here who holds a special place in my life, his name's Dani. Dani has been very supportive in my difficult moments in life, the way he holds back himself and composes himself in difficult moments in life is so inspiring. His humour is absolutely crazy and may God always keep him hearty and full of life. Ameen.
Dani has been like a teacher to me, they say distances bridge hearts and bring people closer, I guess in this case, this is very true.
Continued... part 2

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MISUNDERSTOOD- by Arabian Oud {R}

MISUND ERSTOOD At first they you pretend you care, But in reality you were ignorant, You offered help by lipservice, Nothing practical at all, Everytime I was depressed, You thought it was plain drama, Kept saying 'grow up girl', Changes were noticed slowly, The one day you went away, Here I was seeking love and support, Even my friends abandoned me, Everytime they met,it was about them, I pondered on what I had achieved, But there was no answer at all, They don't understand my problems, They never asked, expecting my life go-lucky, Here I am, Sitting on the bed, surrounded by dark walls, Tears keep flowing down nonstop, Wished there was someone by my side, Wiping them away, hearing my pain out, They call me names and think I am bad, They simply don't know my story, Love they say, is a medicine, But I seest that not, it only gives pain, They all called me immature and left, My heart was broken, the music stopped playing, Violins of my heart cried out so bad, Wished, the...
4 comments
Read more

Unbeliever in love - June 2006 poem

I was once a believer in love, but now I am an unbeliever in love, I was so deeply smitten by his smile, but now I wonder what drove me to him? I thought love meant eternal BLISS, but then I realised it was plain HELL, Prancing around the trees like a child, I seemed to lose my innocence in love, Love, you followed my shadow everywhere, And then you entered my blood and then my soul, You crept into my alley in the dark night, Then stole my sleep and hypnotised me, I thought it was so special, 'true love' But it was nothing but a gud 'Time pass' for you, Driving me to insanity and sleepless nights, Then stealing away my dreams and peace, You vanish in the midst of the night, I thought you understood me, you was special, But it was all a charade you put up, You behave all sweet and innocent infront of me, But inside thee are full of betrayal and evil, Now I am an unbeliever in love, Thankyou for waking me up, Coz I can see I was lucky to walk away lonely, I am deaf to the...
Post a Comment
Read more

Finally by Arabian Oud {R}

Finally It’s finally time to leave this cage, I once called my home, A place full of peace and security, But now everything reminds me of you, Haunts me day and night, I thought you would always be there, But that was a big lie, Hoping to hear from you everyday, I spent time thinking about you, Hoping you were next to me, That look in your face, drove me crazy, But all that is plain history now, I am so lonely now again, I tried to unleash the pain, And run away so many times, But every attempt was a failure, Coz deep down, I had hope, Wishing you would come back, And hug me so tight, Kiss my worries away so bright, Everyone told me I was dreaming, I locked myself into deafness, And slowly drifted into darkness, But now I hear my voice echo, My heart questions you, Where are you my beloved? Did you ever think of me, Miss me and love me? It’s finally time to leave, I was living in a cage, You once called ‘ our home’, You kept telling me, I couldn’t leave, But today, As I walk away into ...
2 comments
Read more