Suicidal notes by Arabian Oud {R}

My eyes looked out of the window in silence,

My body was overtaken by fears and pain,

Patience kept falling out as time passed by,

A non stop rush of words swept through,

Words of love and care,Soon started to fade away,

As I returned back to this sanctuary,

Miseries and disappointments increased,

A perfectionist was I, who was soon isolated,

The terror of their words were that of swords,

Cutting every inch of my senses,

Till I finally gave up on life,

Reminiscing those moments of joy,

For this was history to my life,

Suffocation over the chest and words freeze,

My goodness was mistaken for selfishness,

I sat down in the dark, trying to reconcile,

But alas! every attempt became a failure,

Leaving no choice but to extinguish,

Shooting myself to nothingness,

Slitting off the wrist and enduring infliction,

Madness was my cure, and shadows my friends,

Come to the gathering of lovers O' loners,

There is no peace in giving yourself away,

Love took me on a spiritual abode,

Leaving behind my body, my skeleton cage,

For today, I write a suicidal note,

Ending my life on earth, to begin another ahead..

Comments

حامل الهوى تعب. أبو نواس. ( The One Burdened With Passion Is Weary. Abu Nuwas [d. 814 AD]) on Arabian Oud {R}

حامل الهوى تعب ـــ يستخفه الطرب If he cries, it is right for him [to do so] - what he has is no game. إن بكى يحق له ـــ ليس ما به لعب Whenever one cause [of pain] comes to an end - from you, [another] cause returns to me. كلما انقضى سبب ـــ منك عاد لي سبب You laugh obliviously - as the lover weeps. تضحكين لاهية ـــ والمحب ينتحب You marvel at my sickness - my health is the marvel. تعجبين من سقمي ـــ صحتي هي العجب

MISUNDERSTOOD- by Arabian Oud {R}

MISUND ERSTOOD At first they you pretend you care, But in reality you were ignorant, You offered help by lipservice, Nothing practical at all, Everytime I was depressed, You thought it was plain drama, Kept saying 'grow up girl', Changes were noticed slowly, The one day you went away, Here I was seeking love and support, Even my friends abandoned me, Everytime they met,it was about them, I pondered on what I had achieved, But there was no answer at all, They don't understand my problems, They never asked, expecting my life go-lucky, Here I am, Sitting on the bed, surrounded by dark walls, Tears keep flowing down nonstop, Wished there was someone by my side, Wiping them away, hearing my pain out, They call me names and think I am bad, They simply don't know my story, Love they say, is a medicine, But I seest that not, it only gives pain, They all called me immature and left, My heart was broken, the music stopped playing, Violins of my heart cried out so bad, Wished, the...

The heart an empty vessel by Arabian Oud {R}

The heart an empty vessel The heart is now an empty vessel, A single sound of screech laments, My soul is in an endless sorrow, My inspiration and my glimmer of hope, All washed away by the sea shore, All my hopes dashed into tiny pieces, There is darkness within the heart, Memories reside within of him, He was my inspiration and soul mate, But its always the same story, False promises, abandonment and loneliness, He said 'he was different', I believed him, Less did I know, That my fate was cursed till Doomsday, No mantra can undo my blackened luck, Love, you play games with me, Disguised in different faces, You cheat me, I wound I surrender to my defeat and darkness My heart is an empty vessel, A cursed organ.. Published: December 2015

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