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Don't know how ...

I don't know how to explain this situation, I feel rock bottom at this level, there are all kinds of emotions running inside me.. fear of losing, worrying, pain, repeat of the same events which took place a few months ago.. the feeling of losing the meaning of life and of feeling... walking so far ahead that it doesn't hurt losing my life and losing the meaning of life..

But the one thing that does really matter the most here is the people I love, my parents, and for me they are my world.. I must say this has been the worse year of my entire life.. so much pain, sadness and endless worry.. not a moment of happiness.. I wonder why I am here.. what about the people who do everything wrong and are not even scared of Allah but they get away with everything they are doing fine.. then they say that Allah knows best, yes indeed that's what we say in the end to make ourself believe that everything is going to be fine.. but how far is this true? I don't know even know where to go anymore.. the stages you cross, the trust you have is all of a sudden broken.. why are relationships so difficult to build, why are not easy!

all i feel within myself is an endless prayer to heal the one I love the most!

and for those who are a part of my life, Im sure you won't hate me for saying this because I know u love me too the same way I love u..!

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