My angel by Arabian Oud {R}

From my old closet of thoughts: this probably fits in my life now! have a read... and let me know what you think!!!!

I wanted you as a part of my soul, my heart but I was foolish because no one was worthy of my love. All my efforts, emotions and time were a total waste. Why did I believe, you were mine and why did I believe I belonged to you? You gave me these dreams, you instilled love in my soul, that mystery than disappeared away. Now everything seems so distant and vague; seems like another dream, another illusion, that took me on a joy ride than converting into tragedy and finally into an unforgettable rollercoaster ride. My eyes open and it’s all gone, like a fairground where everything dims out after midnight.

Could you hear my heart beat? Could you hear these silences speak out and fill the loneliness around me? Could you stop blaming myself for being what I am? The magic of those eyes seems ever-lasting. He captivated my heart and that this wasn’t a crush. There was a bond created the moment our eyes met. They say silences express feelings of acceptance or denial from a beloved, but I question myself, where do I stand in such a situation? What am I suppose to believe? Where is this all going towards?

It couldn’t get harder than this, knowing that I wouldn’t be with you anymore. Knowing that I was simply a name for you not treated as a human being. Knowing that the paths ahead are so vague, I have no one but my shadow, you stood by me through miseries. I wish I could have someone so pure.
Why did my heart set upon him? Why did I lose my sight where there is no return? Words confuse, don’t play this game again. Time has changed. I have been in a vicious cycle for sometime.

Felt like a tunnel of emotions so dark and myself. Saw sunshine, tried to grab it but vanished away, before I could call you mine. Vanished before I could hold you in my palms and feel the warmth of your power.
These strangers, this city, those places reminding me of my coldness and that untold story, everything has merged into a nightmare. If I could have one look into your eyes and have you as mine, these games would end. But it’s not so simple.

Where could I find you? So far, you have made these appearances in my feelings and thoughts. How can I sketch you, when no one could do justice do to your looks, no one could sketch the face of my angel, but he himself. I know my angel will come one day for real, to seal this pain and that finally reunion... how does it feel to be loved and how does it feel to be hurt? How does it feel to be loved and love someone?

2006/2007

Comments

MISUNDERSTOOD- by Arabian Oud {R}

MISUND ERSTOOD At first they you pretend you care, But in reality you were ignorant, You offered help by lipservice, Nothing practical at all, Everytime I was depressed, You thought it was plain drama, Kept saying 'grow up girl', Changes were noticed slowly, The one day you went away, Here I was seeking love and support, Even my friends abandoned me, Everytime they met,it was about them, I pondered on what I had achieved, But there was no answer at all, They don't understand my problems, They never asked, expecting my life go-lucky, Here I am, Sitting on the bed, surrounded by dark walls, Tears keep flowing down nonstop, Wished there was someone by my side, Wiping them away, hearing my pain out, They call me names and think I am bad, They simply don't know my story, Love they say, is a medicine, But I seest that not, it only gives pain, They all called me immature and left, My heart was broken, the music stopped playing, Violins of my heart cried out so bad, Wished, the...

Unbeliever in love - June 2006 poem

I was once a believer in love, but now I am an unbeliever in love, I was so deeply smitten by his smile, but now I wonder what drove me to him? I thought love meant eternal BLISS, but then I realised it was plain HELL, Prancing around the trees like a child, I seemed to lose my innocence in love, Love, you followed my shadow everywhere, And then you entered my blood and then my soul, You crept into my alley in the dark night, Then stole my sleep and hypnotised me, I thought it was so special, 'true love' But it was nothing but a gud 'Time pass' for you, Driving me to insanity and sleepless nights, Then stealing away my dreams and peace, You vanish in the midst of the night, I thought you understood me, you was special, But it was all a charade you put up, You behave all sweet and innocent infront of me, But inside thee are full of betrayal and evil, Now I am an unbeliever in love, Thankyou for waking me up, Coz I can see I was lucky to walk away lonely, I am deaf to the...

Finally by Arabian Oud {R}

Finally It’s finally time to leave this cage, I once called my home, A place full of peace and security, But now everything reminds me of you, Haunts me day and night, I thought you would always be there, But that was a big lie, Hoping to hear from you everyday, I spent time thinking about you, Hoping you were next to me, That look in your face, drove me crazy, But all that is plain history now, I am so lonely now again, I tried to unleash the pain, And run away so many times, But every attempt was a failure, Coz deep down, I had hope, Wishing you would come back, And hug me so tight, Kiss my worries away so bright, Everyone told me I was dreaming, I locked myself into deafness, And slowly drifted into darkness, But now I hear my voice echo, My heart questions you, Where are you my beloved? Did you ever think of me, Miss me and love me? It’s finally time to leave, I was living in a cage, You once called ‘ our home’, You kept telling me, I couldn’t leave, But today, As I walk away into ...

ArabianOud {R}

Search This Blog