ArabianOud {R}

I am trapped so badly that now I want to fly away from this cage called my body. People think I pretend or act and want attention, but they don't the pain I suffer. People have misunderstood me and thought I am tyrant, but Alas less did they know me. I so badly trapped here, I simply want to vanish away..

Carousel of Life taken by me Someone once said, ' even if you were to stand in the middle of a carnival, you would still feel lonely, and if you were to stand in the middle of a forest or seaside, you would feel so joyful.' I never believed in this saying until I experienced it myself. Such is the feeling of being in a carnival, yet feeling like a stranger to that crowd.

I took this photograph during the Dubai Summer Surprises 2005, this traditional Emirati dance took place at the World Trade Centre. I was very much amazed to see the way the Dubai cultural department are promoting the culture this way during events. I was probably the only woman taking photographs of this dance hheheh.

I am so faithless in these human relationships, once so close to my heart but now I can't hear my heart beat the way it used to beat before, pulsating like a rollercoaster ride. They name call me as Miss Sensitive or Girl with a rotten Attitude and then one day they all started to vanish away, unable to notice their disapperance,I was lost in my thoughts. Slowly I started realising the selfishness of relationships, a relationship of convenience was what we call it, slowly slowly loneliness started to over take my existence. At first, I felt suffocated and then I became so accustomed to this lonely existence. But I always knew He was watching me, He would hear my heart beat, He would watch me cry and then wipe my tears away and then smile and then behave like a 2 year old. He was the Almighty God, for I totally fell in love with Him, I knew others would come and go and break me from time to time, in the form of a friend, a beloved, someone close, they would keep abandoning me for t...

I was once a believer in love, but now I am an unbeliever in love, I was so deeply smitten by his smile, but now I wonder what drove me to him? I thought love meant eternal BLISS, but then I realised it was plain HELL, Prancing around the trees like a child, I seemed to lose my innocence in love, Love, you followed my shadow everywhere, And then you entered my blood and then my soul, You crept into my alley in the dark night, Then stole my sleep and hypnotised me, I thought it was so special, 'true love' But it was nothing but a gud 'Time pass' for you, Driving me to insanity and sleepless nights, Then stealing away my dreams and peace, You vanish in the midst of the night, I thought you understood me, you was special, But it was all a charade you put up, You behave all sweet and innocent infront of me, But inside thee are full of betrayal and evil, Now I am an unbeliever in love, Thankyou for waking me up, Coz I can see I was lucky to walk away lonely, I am deaf to the...

This is one of my favourite rides at Thorpe Park. I would label this is a mix of joyride and misery, but its damn fun....

You loved me never... Now everything just makes pure sense, Coz I see how stupid was I, I thought you loved me deeply, I thought you were crazy about me, But now it makes me feel stupid, Coz you loved me never, All that was only an act, To use me, and my innocent feelings, I called you my teacher, my lover, But you fail to meet that criteria, I feel so cold, despite your soft touch, I feel so empty, despite you embracing me, I am deceived, because it was a drama, I entrusted you with my precious soul, And you cared less for what was precious, You never valued my presence in your life, Took me as another person, it hurts now, Coz I thought you were my man, My heart keeps repeating, though I ignore, You loved me never, it beats so loudly, Disheartened by love, I pay no heed to your words, Coz you loved me never, never, ever, ever....

Fidelity You talk about fidelity, I thought you dared me, I was up for this challenge, But then it all seems so fake, Coz you never ever cared, Unaware of your mood swings, I am here by your side, loving you, But it seems like a game, a set up, Watching me talk to my male mate, You get so jealous, you walk away, I am running after you, trying to convince, Why do you take it the wrong way man? He's only a "friend" of mine, I insist, You don't wanna hear this now, You say it to my face,"I am tired of your friends, tell them to go", You raise hand to slap me and I run away, It's been always about what you wanted, You neglected my needs and what I am made of, It's been a few years of misery with all that, Those gloomy, rainy nights all alone, Your living with me,But it seems I don't know you at all, I cook that special meal for ya, Food on the table goin wasted, What the hell, this life's so twisted, I sneak by the window and watch you, You walk...

I have started a quest, to search for creativity, it's something that's baffled me from time to time and now I simply want to flow along with it. I want to explore different talents and unveil them to the world.. bring the unsigned talent to the main newspapers... I am simply a creativity lover..