ArabianOud {R}

From my old closet of thoughts: this probably fits in my life now! have a read... and let me know what you think!!!! I wanted you as a part of my soul, my heart but I was foolish because no one was worthy of my love. All my efforts, emotions and time were a total waste. Why did I believe, you were mine and why did I believe I belonged to you? You gave me these dreams, you instilled love in my soul, that mystery than disappeared away. Now everything seems so distant and vague; seems like another dream, another illusion, that took me on a joy ride than converting into tragedy and finally into an unforgettable rollercoaster ride. My eyes open and it’s all gone, like a fairground where everything dims out after midnight. Could you hear my heart beat? Could you hear these silences speak out and fill the loneliness around me? Could you stop blaming myself for being what I am? The magic of those eyes seems ever-lasting. He captivated my heart and that this wasn’t a crush. There was a bond cr...

I must admit, I have felt so lost within myself, I can not see a world beyond this darkness, I wake up everyday hoping for brightness, But soon these hopes dash in a deeper place, Could you win my trust back and let me know, How it feels to be loved and admired again? I must admit, this long night is never ending, This stormy night instills fear in my soul, This place called 'home' is full of silence & me, I wish I was able to forget those emotions like a nightmare, That haunted me for several months as they left, I wish I could wipe away those memories one day, I must admit, this longing & yearning does instill pain, But I knew this was the only way out of my emptiness, The ink's dried and my emotions stagnant, I need to escape from my own cage called 'body', To rise again like a phoenix.

If angels exist then I need one to be mine, To hold on to my heart and never let go, I know he would come one day sooner, But it seems like a long wait for now, At times I feel so lost & speechless, I wish he was by my side right now, I know he wouldn't leave me ever, They say they are sincere & caring, A deeply wounded heart is so alone, But it is not pity that I seek beloved, It is someone who would understand, I would give my heart & soul away, But I wished he would come sooner, Poem: by me

Burnt down your memories first, saw you burn mine later, for you wronged me, I didn't wrong you, but I was punished by thee. You have burnt my heart to the depths of darkness and thrown me in the unknown. How could you vow to love me for eternity when all you had to do in the end was behave like others, so typical, so full of lies, full of deceit. After a good timepass all you wanted was to exit. Strange how now its become a trend to dump people and they find out through others. Strange how feelings, emotions and relationships have become a joke. Our biggest fault is that we give someone that importance in our life to make them special to that point that they actually think they are all that and they misuse this emotion, they possibly do everything to hurt us. We hurt that person to an extent that is very painful, we hurt them and then seek forgiveness and think it's going to be okay, because we know deep down they love us, and love gives one the power to tolerate. There would ...

I have been thinking a lot this month, my main focus has been on relationships, after some personal setbacks, all I have been doing is ponder on relationships. In the age of a fast lane lifecycle, where materialism has overtaken our existence, very few people understand the worth of relationships and they know how to value it. A relationship only becomes stronger after it goes through tests, trials and a series of tribulations. If it can not handle the burden of truth its better for it to break off. When people claim to love they should have the nerves to face the consequences, if they can’t fulfil those promises then they shouldn’t claim love. People have lost the true definition of love and relationships, most likely they have misplaced it. Love is threaded by respect, care, trust and endless understanding.

Left shot: Baker Street Station, London Right shot: Harrods decorated like a bride. Knightsbridge London

It is the 28th of September 2007, I am sitting in my living room, pondering over the recent events in my life, in the world, the political situations, the turmoils, the holy month of Ramadan and so on. But before I could begin to write, I am thankful to my friend who wrote a scribbled blog to keep you entertained. I am sure most of you are very occupied with the Holy month of Ramadan and the busy routine. But did we change during this pious month? what changes were made to our character? to our inner self? did we remain hard as a tyrrant and not refrain from carrying out evil doings? Did we keep cheating others and keep making the other believe we are superior over the other? Did we stop making the other feel they were too low or not good enough to be introduced as the person we love to our social circle? Were we too double faced to stand and face the truth and take responsibilty? Did we stop thinking about the Hereafter and only think about this world? Did we not stop and think how I...