ArabianOud {R}

I am married to loneliness, I feel safer in darkness, there are no games played, nobody can walk inside my heart and hurt it, make it bleed and leave it alone to die. Such merciless emotions have made my heart like a stone. I cried in silence a million times, my tears flowed and I kept feeling the heart beat sink. He paid no attention, he didn't take me seriously, he left me all alone in this distressing lonely long moment. I searched for him everywhere, but he disappeared. I kept asking myself where I went wrong? I believed in love, I gave way too much than I should have. I was too honest, caring and kind. I let myself forget my own problems and give him my all. He cares not for my bleeding heart and endless tears. All my trust is betrayed and my soul has been crushed. I am married to loneliness because I know love's not worth living for. I know love made my world colourful but it's left me to die, so helpless in pain and cheated. My faith and patience have committed...

Long lonely nights, layered by a dark blanket, Time kept ticking away in a blink of an eye, My existence has been immersed in waiting, An endless waiting, My eyes have stoned, Tears have dried, My heart no longer pounds like before, Days became weeks, Weeks became months And eventually years.. Promises, hopes, faith, I wished this time, it would be different But I am proven wrong, All lost, This curse has nailed me down, Impossible to separate... Love, I desired you, I wished to have a lover, My soul mate, An impossible dream... Arabian Oud

The days seem longer, the nights even longer...the chain of sequences kept repeating in a loop.. everyday seemed identical to the day before.. I sat pondering where I went wrong.. another saddening blog only this time it concludes my life and opens a window to a new experience that each one of us tastes, death. I was a firm believer of love and friendship, somewhere down the line human relationships failed me. No matter how hard I tried and moved on, I was deceived by people who I cherished and trusted the most. You can judge me by saying I am weak and lack faith. I do not blame you. I probably need help in the rehab and get a better understanding and value of life, but I can no longer extend my patience, it's stretched beyond its limit. I had simple principles in life, trust and whatever you do in life, do it with sincerity, but I guess the world doesn't go by these rules, most of the people talk big about love, friendship and about basic human emotions but act totally oppo...